It is Things Like This That Explain My Male-Pattern Baldness

You know I love hockey. If you scroll down, you will see about 20 youtube hockey videos in one post. And I watched about 100 to narrow it down to those 20.

So you can undoubtedly understand that I had hockey on while doing my reading last night, until I realized I was doing too much watching and not enough reading (even though the TV was on mute), and forced myself to turn off the TV. Hey, you should forgive, I was tired and had a lot of work to do. The Pens were getting crushed anyway. Much later, I flipped the TV back on and saw that Vancouver was up on Dallas 4 to 2. I think it was the third period, and the Canucks have Luongo, so I figured the game was over, finished up my reading and watched an episode of Firefly on DVD. By now it is about 1:30 a.m. Extremely tired and ready for bed, I start surfing the channels looking for something decent, since Adult Swim is showing crappy anime now.

Lo' and behold, I come across the ESPN ticker, and what the fuck? The Canucks and Stars are still playing! It is the Second Overtime! This is great. One great part of playoff hockey is the fact that the game will not end until someone wins. So get under my covers, put the sleep timer on 60 minutes, and wait for someone to win.

Only no one does. The second OT ends with the score tied 4-4. 20 minutes later, the 3rd OT begins. 3 overtimes, now I am invested, I am not sleeping until this thing is done. Sure I punked out on the beggining and middle and the first end of the game, but I am here now and that is what matters right?

Besides, the Third OT was fucking awesome. A couple of "pings" (when the shot hits a post), no penalties and of course, no goals. But also no commercials. The 3rd OT ends at 2:50 a.m. with the score still tied. With 20 minutes until 4th OT starts, I flip to the Cartoon Network and catch the last bit of Futureama and the first bit of Family Guy. 3:10 rolls around, and I go back to Versus (the network that broadcasts hockey).

[pause for dramatic effect]

They are showing a pilates infomercial. My mind starts racing, what the fuck is this? Is this a commercial or an infomercial (but in my heart I know). I wait a couple minutes. I know the 4th OT has started. I know that I am on the right channel.

I know that I am fucking pissed.

I have to get out of bed, and turn on my computer (which takes five minutes to turn on). Stewing, and stewing some more, I sit there. It is quarter after three in the morning and I have to be up in five and half hours (that is, if i do not mind going to class in my skivvies and not peeing or brushing my teeth before I leave). My computer boots up, finally, but no, it cannot be that easy, because my sound card isnt recognized. I have to uninstall it and reinstall it so that I can hear sound.

While I wait an eternity for my computer to accomplish this relatively simple task, I check out the hockey message board, hfboards.com, check out the game thread, and discover that other people are facing the same dilemma. Fuck Versus I think.

So anyway, I get the sound working, go to NHL.com and get the radio feed and listen to the last five minutes of the game, which ends around 3:30 am on one of the Sedin Brothers Goals. Vancouver Wins. The GM Place is going nuts.

Sure would have been nice to see that.

So during that five minutes while I was listening to the game, I fire off an extremely angry letter to Versus, letting them know of my absolute displeasure.

I figured this would be the talk of the blogdome today, after all, everyone had the BigLead's back when Cowherd crashed their site and they have been all over Dice-K and Imus. I thought this was up there with MLB trying to put Extra Innings on DirecTV only.

But sadly, no one seems to care. I found two blog entries talking about this. This one (written as it happened and similar to what I would have written at the time, though I would have had about 200 more "fuck"'s) and this one, which makes the astute "Heidi" reference (also, mad props to that guy, Greg Brownell, because he is the one that got a hold of the AP, and made this a newsstory (it is likely Versus would have ignored it had they not been contacted by the AP)).

So all my favorite blogs never mentioned it once today, be it Shanoff, Deadspin, WithLeather, AwfulAnnouncing, NHL Fanhouse, OffWingOpinion, and all the rest.

A fucking travesty. However, based on the AP article, as well as the messages on Hfboards indicating that several people still had the game on Versus, Me thinks that blame rests with one party.

FUCK YOU TIME WARNER!!!!

Yeah, I said it. It seems that my cable company is the party most likely to blame for cutting off the game. It would be great to be able to switch, but you know, the whole monopoly thing and trees cutting off access to a satellite. I was forced to use Time Warner in Undergrad as well, and let me say, they really do suck (it took three fucking tries before they could figure out to hook my house up with cable, even though the people that lived here previously had it).

And they are going to wonder why we haven't paid out bill in three months.

So, in sum, I am very pissed to have missed the end of the sixth longest game in NHL history (though I did get to listen to it on streamed internet radio!). I am very pissed that no one in this country cares enough about hockey to mention this (though the AP story was on ESPN's NHL page). I am extremely pissed that the NHL did not contract around this with Versus, which in turn would have contracted with the cable companies to prevent pre-empting live programing such as this. (And if Versus was that smart, I will happily testify as to my pain and suffering in a court of law, showing that by Time Warners actions, Versus has lost their expectancy interest in me watching any future non-NHL programming on the network).

To conclude, read this. It has nothing to do with this bullshit, but it might pique your interest in the hockey playoffs, then when TV fucks you, you will understand my pain.

Sleep and Syndication

These days, my life seems to revolve around two things. First, as we all know by now, is sleep, my ever elusive mistress. Thankfully, I recently discovered the virtuous Tylenol PM, which fills in nicely when alcohol and I are seeing other people. But, I still like to sleep, and I never get enough. I wonder if that makes me a sleep addict? After all, much of my time is spent plotting when I can start trying to fall asleep, as well as deciphering the latest possible time I can get out of bed. I do not think I have showered before leaving home in at least a month. Hopefully I do not stink that bad. I mean, I usually remember to put on deodorant, but sometimes in a rush to leave, I forget. Sue me.

The second thing that has been dictating my life is, sadly, nothing to do with social activities or school work. When I discovered that Scrubs is on five times a day, my life changed forever. Scrubs is one of those great shows that you watch when you realize it is on, but never know exactly when it is on. Whatever network it was on horribly mismanaged the show. And it's great! It is amazing to me that it lasted long enough to make it to syndication, considering I rarely watched it in primetime, and we all know that the world revolves around me. At least my world anyway.

So now I drop everything from 7 to 8, and again from 11:30 to 1. Five episodes of Scrubs a day. The best part is that I have not seen most of the episodes. It would be nice to be able to watch it from the beginning, so there is that continuity, but I can get over it. I can piece it back together in my head all on my own.

Now they have this interesting thing, where the shows do not wait five years before starting syndication. This explains why I wasted my entire last Sunday watching a House marathon on USA (another good show I never watch). So in addition to five Scrubs a day, I have to worry about random marathons over the weekend (at least I do not do homework on the weekends). Then there is the old stand-bys, The Daily Show and Colbert Report, Smallville, PTI, and I think that is it. But you never know when Yes Dear or King of Queens or Law & Order or Law & Order: SVU or Law & Order: Criminal Intent or Law & Order: Rules of Criminal Procedure might suck me in.

I think, maybe, getting cable was a bad idea.

Sans Cable

You may be surprised to learn, that as someone who watched more TV over the summer than all but 1% of the population, I have gone the last month without cable. Hell, I did not even have network TV except for a grainy NBC (Hooray for Conan) until two days ago when I bought an antenna. My TV had actually been in storage for the first month that I was back in town, until I realized that I would have to pay another months rent ($40), and got it the hell out of there. All it cost me was a beer. Its good to know people.

Over the summer, my schedule was pretty rigid. I would wake up around 2, and get online, with something on the TV. It did not really matter, I was not paying attention. Usually it was Strongman competitions on ESPN. But, it did not matter, the first two hours of my day were spent surfing, reading a bunch of ultimately worthless shit (much like you will view this post in about two minutes). I made no attempt to keep up on the news, unless it was sports related. So after two hours reading every article on ESPN, it was time for the talking heads, Around the Horn (I know, the show sucks, but I am a glutton for punishment, besides it always made), followed by PTI (so much better). Then came syndication bi-hour (Simpsons, Seinfeld, That 70s Show). Followed by whatever sporting event was on that particular night.

Late night was The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Conan, and infomercials. Various other shows would be interspersed throughout the day and evening, but the point is, summer was spent on my ass watching TV.

And now, I do not have it. And honestly, I love it. I am no longer a slave to being home at 5:30 to watch PTI, or making sure that I watch and episode of The Simpsons for the 47th time. I really do not miss TV. I used to feel like Homer, who once opined about TV, "Teacher, mother, secret lover."

I know think of all those hours wasted watching TV and, well, I do not regret it. I am overloaded with work right now, that it is really just the distraction of TV that I do not miss. Because waking up with a hangover on Sat/Sun and not being able to lie in bed or on the couch and watch football is a little emasculating. Thankfully, the antenna has rectified that situation.

However, it is not that I have not compensated. You may or may not be aware that you can buy television shows on iTunes. And not just single episodes, you can buy entire seasons. I love technology. So one boring night, I was going through the iTunes catalog, and found what I wanted, purchased it, and let the download begin.

FYI, it takes forever to download an hour long episode (especially when you are using pilfered internet). Thankfully, it was about ten minutes less than a full length episode, so once you get the first one, you are good to go.

But I did not stop at just the first season, I bought the second season too. Unfortunately, the third season is not yet up on iTunes, but I found a loophole in the system one day during class.

With wireless internet, you can pretty much screw around on the internet the entire time that the Prof. is up on his soapbox. Games, IM, or blogs, he or she will never know, as long as you keep the sound muted. Its not like they will expend the effort to walk around class and try to interact with the students beyond asking them probing and insightful questions about the case at issue (well unless they do not have tenure yet). So during one particular unilluminating soliloquy by a Prof. (about something completely unrelated to anything, I assure you, I usually pay attention in class, but this went on for about 20 minutes), I decide to check out a site I have heard a lot about, but never, ever utilized.

Oh, behold the glory that is eBay. How have I never been there before? It has all this stuff, and you bid on it. Whatever, the thing that I have always hated about eBay was that you had to schedule yourself to be on the computer when the auction was ending so that you could bid up the price with 20 seconds left. What the hell? Why not just put high figure to start with? Of course, when I tried that in the past it never worked, but then, I never really cared. I do not need someone else's worthless crap. Until that fateful day in class.

There it was, Season 3. And the auction was ending in 9 minutes. There was still 15 minutes left in class. Oh yeah, I bid, and I won, and I did not even have to do that crappy raising your bid in the last minute to win. I was a little disappointed by that. So now I have Season 1 and 2 downloaded on my computer (does anyone have a DVR?) and Season 3 of Buffy The Vampire Slayer on DVD. Yep, Buffy. I might be a little bit of a nerd, but if I was a huge nerd, wouldn't I have all seven seasons by now? Yeah that is what I thought. Give me three months, and I will have them. Along with the five of Angel.

So the question is, do I really miss cable and am over compensating by buying Buffy (I have already watched season 1 twice, and am halfway through my second viewing of season 2), or do I really love Buffy and not need cable?

Only time will tell I guess. But what I do know is that sometimes class is boooooring.

Well, the Smallville season premiere starts momentarily, time for me to run, errr, sit.