Thursday, August 23, 2007


I saw this bumper sticker today: "Caution: In case of the rapture, this vehicle will be unmanned."

I think that this is mighty presumptuous of the driver. Now, I am not one who knows God personally, or pretends to have any sort of relationship with him, but does God like this kind of arrogance? The driver is basically saying, yes I am perfect, or if not perfect, I understand God well enough to know what he will deem acceptable my behavior which will allow me to be accepted into heaven for the afterlife.

Shit, I have never been that confident about anything, let alone knowing with certainty that I will not spend eternity burning in the hell-fire.

My understanding of the Bible is sketchy at best, but I am fairly certain that only one man ever lived a sinless life, and it sure as hell was not the driver of that truck. Granted, from what I have been told, you can be the most philanthropic man on the planet, but the gates do not open unless you believe in God and that his son Jeebus died for your sins.

But what is belief? Does one moment of doubt in the existence of God disqualify you? Does cursing God once on your worst day disqualify you? Are aboriginal tribes that stick their historical beliefs denied in the face of their rejection of Christian missionaries?

I am not attempting to debate religion, I already know what the answers are to those questions. I was just surprised that anyone would presume to anticipate what God would or would not do. Sure you can hope, but do you ever really know?

Besides, the rapture occurred in 1983, right after Lotus 1-2-3 was released.

(oh, and I have never read the "Left Behind" series, but I did read a book called 666 about 10 years ago. Very fascinating and filled with untoward hilarity.)


nicolle said... your comments on my blog. due to some jerk hacker who stole my gmail tonight, i can't log into my actual account...but no, i don't have to deal with that...annoyance you mention. :)

waiting-to-exhale said...

Well, smarty pants, my car would be unmanned too! God would pull my ass out of the drivers seat by the scruff of my shirt and scream, "SO YOU DON'T BELIEVE I EXIST, HUH?!" and I would say something like, "um, no sir, not til today."

Then he would say, "YOU KNOW WHAT!? I LIKE your CHUTZPAH!" and then he would wrap me in his arms and take me with him to enjoy eternal pints of mint oreo ice cream and Starbucks DoubleShot Espressos.

If their IS a God, he would totally love us atheists, because how could God turn away a human who was utilizing the common sense that He instilled in them for Christ's sake?