Friday, June 09, 2006

54th Post Extravaganza!!! Part Deux

a.k.a. The 55th Post Espectacular!!!

After ranting for several paragraphs about not knowing a thing about women, I concluded with this.

The inspiration for this post happened a few days ago. A girl came to class wearing a white t-shirt. Just a regular normal t-shirt. Unfortunately it was not a V-Neck, but it was a plain old white t-shirt. I have never seen anything hotter in my life. I was half-stocked the entire class. I do not know what it was, maybe it was the fact that she is stacked and the shirt was a little tight and the classroom was a little cold, but I do not think that any of those factors are conclusive. She was not particularly made up that day, I think her hair was in a ponytail, and she might have been wearing flip-flops, but the plain white shirt made my head spin. She may have noticed the drool coming out of my mouth, as in the class we had an hour later she was wearing a sweatshirt, but it could have been because it was a little chilly in the classrooms.

Unfortunately, she has a boyfriend. But, I think that may have been what did it for me. She was wearing a T-shirt that probably belonged to a guy. Personally, I cannot think of anything hotter than a girl wearing one of my shirts and nothing else.

I was going to write a list of reasons why law school is like second grade, but I only got through one before I passed out. I should have come back to this, but never did.

Lack of Self-Monitoring
--In Second Grade you felt the complete freedom to ask whatever you wanted to, whenever you wanted to. Say you were learning subtraction (2-1=?) and someone would raise his hand and ask, "Teacher, why is the grass green?" Sometimes it seems like that in class. Second-graders can blame short attention spans though.

And Finally, sometimes I write strange things in my notes, so I figured that while I was making outlines, I would post all the funny things in my notes. Turns out most of them are not funny. Regardless, after finishing my second exam, I started freaking out (actually, I just got lazy), so I did not record things from all my notes, but here are the best ones I got.

  • What the hell is someone doing with $19,000 worth of jewelry at a Wal-Mart in the Ghetto?
  • If tavern owners are supposed to stop serving drunks, why have I been escorted out of bars by cops?
  • Do not assume that the most apparent meaning is the correct meaning. Stay Loose (slut).
  • 48% of statistics are made up, including this one.
  • Three Kinds of Lies in this society: Lies, Damnable Lies, and Statistics.
  • To permit the railroad to choose something. Whoops, too much Free Cell.
  • It is very nice and concise and has cherries on top.
  • Biggest Lies—Checks in the Mail, and the Second on is—“I am from the government and I am here to help you"
  • To a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
  • The court leads off with the negative implication rule. And it starts by saying, That class is over!
  • Some dude invented the case method of legal education. Asshole.
  • Judge Traynor is a hippie. But a smart hippie.
  • Whoa, I have tuned out the last ten minutes or so
  • If the facts favor your client hammer on the facts, if the law favors your client hammer on the law. If neither favors your client, hammer on the opposing counsel.
  • I don’t know what the hell he said. Stop playing solitaire.
  • What the hell what is the point of this? I should have stayed at home and taken a nap.

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