Finals Rule #3

For God's Sake; Shower!

I do not know if I experienced this problem during my first go round of finals, they were all in the afternoon, but regardless, I can see where this can be a problem. It is bad enough sitting through a 50 minutes class when someone stinks (yeah, I am guilty of this, tough). But, as is everything during finals week, it becomes amplified exponentially.

Remember when that guy farted in your Torts class? And you just kind of sat there, looking around, trying to figure out who did, but at the same time, tried to play it cool so no one would think that you dealt it? And that is how you missed five minutes of the lecture. No one can handle being distracted for a few moments during an exam. And if you stink, you are hurting your classmates (unless you are that obsessive, and think that this will give you an edge, go for it, but excision from the law school community may result).

So what does this mean you have to do before the exam? First, take a shower, and use soap and shampoo. I have no idea what conditioner does (obviously it conditions the hair, but I do not know what that means), but if you want to use that too, go for it. Second, brush your teeth. Maybe twice. Even though it is unlikely that you will be breathing on anyone during the exam, you don't want to get distracted wondering if you have bad breath (unless you have gingivitis, then see a failed doctor). Third, clean underwear, shirt, pants and socks. No one wants to smell your B.O. soaked shirt that you have been for the last three days while you were studying because you were so focused on studying that you forgot what deodorant was (unless you are in products liability and dealing with that horrible rash case). Additionally, leave the sandals for the beach. Wear normal shoes. I know that sandals are comfortable (I have been sporting mine for the last couple weeks), but tough test=sweaty feet=smelly feet=exam room smelling like feet. Take the 45 seconds to put on a clean pair of socks and normal shoes.

So what don't you have to do? The most obvious one is dress up nice. Don't wear a suit/pant suit to the exam. The Prof. won't be there, so you won't impress him. If you are a woman and dressing up nice gives you more confidence, then go for it, but do not wear something that shows off your cleavage or legs that go all the way down to the floor. Normally, I love seeing women all sexed up, but finals week is neither the time nor the place. During Winter exams, I would recommend wearing either the most comfortable loose fitting sweatshirt you have. That is what I sported for my exams, and was extremely comfortable. I have never had a Spring exam that lasted more than an hour, so I am not sure what the best clothing is. I guess whatever your bag is will work best. I never wear shorts, but if you like shorts, wear shorts. If you like polos, wear a polo, if you like dress shirts, wear a dress shirt. Just make sure that it is clean, and doesn't smell like the bar you went to last week or ass. The one article of clothing to avoid, and this goes for men and women, is the Tank-Top. Dudes look like morons, in a horribly disgusting way, and Women look to damn good. Just avoid at all costs.

So what have we learned? Nothing, you just wasted a shit load of time reading this while you could have been studying for finals. Rest assured though, I wasted a lot more time writing this than you wasted reading it.