Friday, April 14, 2006

Fun Times At Undergrad U

There was only one circumstance where my two roommates in college ever got mad at me. I actually had three roommates from sophomore to senior year, but two were constant, the third was rotating. My roomies were pretty easy going guys, hell the time I hitch-hiked and they had no clue where I was they did not get mad (we were at a place at least 30 miles from home when I decided to thumb it, without telling them, but that is a story for another day). However, I had an annoying drunken habit that pissed them off.

I did not break shit, or scream at the top of my lungs, or do anything that destructive. No, sometimes when I was hammered, I would stop at the UDF on the way home and pick up some White Cheddar Popcorn. That shit is so good. I cannot describe how much I love it. For me, that is my drunken food.

The only problem is that when I am drunk, I try to shovel massive handfuls of this popcorn into my mouth, and my mouth just isn't big enough. Therefore, a lot of it falls to the floor.

After a night of eating popcorn at 4 am, I would get up the next day and see the living room covered with tiny white portions of white cheddar popcorn. It was like the carpet had dandruff. And it was not confined to a single patch on the carpet, it was all over the place. All over the three cushions of both couches, the entire floor, by the N64 and Playstation, on the coffee table, under the coffee table, pretty much everywhere.

It was so widespread a simple vacuuming would not clean it up. It had to be an all out, clean the fucking living room to get all the kernel shavings cleaned up. Yeah it was disgusting, the only reason I never changed was that when the deed was done I was too drunk to care and when I was called out on it I was too hungover to care.

But all things considered, this was my only really bad habit. Each roommate had their own bad habit, whether it was smoking pot, monopolizing the TV with chick flicks, or being a drunken retard, so they just had to deal with my drunken love affair with white cheddar popcorn.

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